All Noisy Toys

Noisy woodern ball xylophone

I’m trying to find toys that aren’t yet more plastic tat to eventually be thrown away. Wood is a lovely material and durable too, so kids will irritiale their parents endlessly with it.

Noisy woodern xylophone

I bet at an 18 month old absolutely leathering the crap out of a wood xylophone is brilliant. With two hammer and a happy lion face, this looks great.

Noisy woodern maracas

Why does wood seem like such an appropriate material of childrens toys? No idea, but these noisy, colourful maracas with a frog and lion on look brilliant and you can rest assured that there’s no batteries to stop that noice flowing for hours and hours.

Peppa Pig's Super Noisy Sound Book

This was the present that started it all for me - buying this book for my niece and then spending all Christmas with her and I smashing buttons until my family threatened to kick me out.

Disney Frozen Recorder

The recorder is without doubt the worst and terriblely noisy excuse for an instrument. The reviews are astounding. This might be the original bastard uncle present.

Safari Animals Prank Sound Machine

Can I count this as educational? I’d think so; every child should be able to make the noises of 9 different animals, including a lion, an elephant and even a gorilla.

Large Screaming Chicken

My favorite screaming plastic chicken is called Paul. He’s an irregular member of my favorite podcast. He’s irritating as all heck. I have no idea is this is Paul, but I bet he’s just as fun.

26-Inch Vuvuzela Stadium Horn

Since first gracing our screen and ears in 2010 the vuvuzela has remained the undoubted king of irritating noise making “toy”. No batteries requires. Good.